Whew!!! This is a BIG one. Philip and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. I was laughing as I thought about how our marriage will soon be a teenager. A friend asked if that means it’s about to get real. I guess you could say it means our marriage can sometimes be hormonal….hmmmm, that explains alot. We are going through puberty!
Let’s face it, commitment can be hard, even in the best of circumstances. What about when the times get tough…when the finances are impossible to reconcile, or when two people lose their spark, or when communication is nonexistent? Let’s sit with this for awhile….
Many of us are being pulled in a million different directions, and when you throw kids into the mix it can seem like your only purpose is a full time Uber driver for kids. Want to throw nutrition into the mix??? Thank goodness for Chick-Fil-A. Can I get an Amen?
I mean, how can we make a commitment…until death do us part…when most of the time we have yet to discover our own identities, much less our identity in marriage? How can we know and ensure this unity will last forever? Better yet…how do we survive the marriage pre-teen years when many of us are juggling so much we barely even see our spouse?
I’m realizing that some of this is just the season we are in. Our kiddos NEED us, and I am certainly SO very blessed to be a mom of three precious gifts. Some of it is our overextended calendars. We need to be better at saying “no” so that we can say “YES” to our families. And then some of it is our FOCUS. How are we centering ourselves…daily? Do we have accountability in our lives? Where and how are we going to find balance in life?
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Exodus 33:14
“The Lord replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’”
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Thankfully, Philip and I are celebrating double digit years now. But let me assure you that this celebration does not mean that our relationship has not been tested, been through deep waters on some days and been a mess on others. You know that wise old saying, “Never go to bed angry?” Yeah, that’s not me. However, I can say that we eventually work through it (y’all try being married to an attorney!) and I think…no, I know…it’s because our relationship is rooted in Him. Our commitment is to Him first and foremost. Our earthly relationship is a choice we choose every. single. day. because we stood before God and promised just that. Every day we will choose each other. That doesn’t mean we will see the rainbows and feel the butterflies daily. That doesn’t mean the choice will be easy. But it does mean we will take ACTION and intentionally choose one another…til death do us part.
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Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
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So you’ve been divorced, or you have left an unhealthy relationship, or your best friend has walked right out of your life? Are you a failure? Absolutely not. God’s grace is sufficient for me…it’s sufficient for you, no matter your marital status or your friend status. You get to commit your life each and every day to Him. It’s a choice you make. In turn, He will help you truly commit your life to others…even when your heart, your mind, the world tells you to walk away. He will provide the lifeline you will need in the future to pull you from the pit of despair and find your way home.
When the world tempts with fruitless things, God promises HOPE, and GRACE, and complete JOY in Him. Let me emphasize that complete joy can only come from Him and not another person or circumstance. Don’t put the pressure of your joy on a spouse or friend, because you will be disappointed every single time. Please don’t be fooled into thinking that your key to fulfillment is just around the corner…if only this or that would happen. Want to know what true love looks like? Want to find peace and joy? Turn to scripture and learn from Jesus. You are loved. You are welcome. You are home in Christ.
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John 15:9-11
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
In Him,
Ashley
“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. “
~Psalm 118:24
Come To the Table Ministry 
“He will help you truly commit your life to others…even when your heart, your mind, the world tells you to walk away.” I love this…I remember when the world was pulling Justin away from me and I just committed my life to God and over time He won the battle. Even when Justin wasn’t committed, I still was and that was all that mattered. Thank you for sharing your heart on marriage, we need to speak on it more!
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