My Tribe – Come To the Table Ministry

Answering The Call

It is during this season that I’m so thankful for God’s goodness everywhere. It is evident that the Church is not a building but rather God’s people going into the world to serve Him.

This past Sunday, Grace Fellowship Church launched a new initiative to Call*Pray*Help. I knew I wanted to do my part to connect with others through phone calls, to offer prayer and assistance where it was needed. This is an opportunity for me to give to someone else during these uncertain times.

I called Mrs. Margaret (name has been changed for privacy), all huddled in the corner of my dining room away from the kids, hoping this second call would not be too awkward. The first call, thankfully, had not been. I would check this off my list and then move on about my day.

Or would I?

Continue reading Answering The Call

All Things To All People

Have you ever tried being ALL things to ALL people and it only left you feeling exhausted and frustrated? Maybe you are a mom to kids who aren’t always respectful? Are you a volunteer with PTA only to find yourself a committee of one? Maybe you take in more responsibility at work hoping for the recognition you longed for but have yet to receive? You wear ALL the hats: wife, mom, CEO of the home, Uber-kid driver, logistics specialist, room mom, full-time career woman, chef, party planner, personal shopper…trying to maintain sanity but instead just losing a piece of yourself each and every day.

I hear you! I used to get SO overwhelmed (and still do at times!). But with a change in perspective, my hope is we come away with adding peace to our soul instead of endless exhaustion. Ready to find out how?

Have you heard the saying stop trying to be all things to all people? Yep, me, too! And it’s something that became a part of my mindset. So you can imagine how confusing it might have been to read 1 Corinthians:

“…I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I might share in its blessings.”
~1 Corinthians 9:22

Paul is talking to a group of believers. He wants to communicate to them that while it may be his right to reap rewards for his service in ministry, he has chosen to be self-sufficient so that he may not be boastful before the Lord.

He goes on to tell the church in Corinth how he has intentionally ministered to ALL groups of people: Jews, Gentiles, those under the law, and those outside the law and all while maintaining who he is in Christ.

He became ALL things to ALL people using ALL means he had in order to point different groups of people to Christ.

Is this our calling, too? I just acknowledged that attempting to do so only leaves me tired and feeling inadequate.

You see, I think we have to look at this concept through the lens of God instead of the lens of the world. When we attempt to be ALL things to ALL people through the world’s standards, we will lose a piece of ourselves each and every time. But when we become the hands and feet of Jesus (ALL things…because what can be more then this?) to ALL people (God calls us to share the gospel with the world) by ALL the means then we fill our souls with an inexplicable peace.

Doing it God’s way leaves us MORE filled rather than less. Our hearts overflow with peace, hope, and love when we live each day in service to Him.

So the next time you are chauffeuring kids from place to place, or decorating for the next school event, or maybe even not getting the recognition you deserve at work, ask yourself why you are doing all the things…for the world’s approval or for God’s glory? Work unto the Lord. His kingdom is present in the day-to-day of YOUR life. You can be ALL things to ALL people through the lens of Christ.

Ashley
“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
~Psalm 118:24

Forgiveness Is Not For the Faint of Heart

And thank goodness God’s heart is pure and perfect. God forgives me. He forgives you. The cross conveys to us the ultimate act of forgiveness, that Christ would die for you, for me, so that we may be completely forgiven and made wholly new in Him.

I don’t know about you, but I am a BIG people pleaser. You know how people claim that you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea? While I know this to be true, it hasn’t stopped me from trying to be ALL the flavors of tea.

Have you written someone off because they’ve hurt you or didn’t show up in ways you needed or expected?

Have you ever been afraid to get close to someone because you can appreciate that inevitably the day will come when YOUR humanness shows up in big ways and you will completely fail this person?

(photo cred: Roberto Nickson on Unsplash)

God calls us (expects us) to have a heart ready to freely give forgiveness. Why? Because that’s exactly what we needed from Him. It’s exactly what He gave us in His Son, Jesus.

In order to CHOOSE forgiveness (because making the choice is the first step) we must first receive God’s forgiveness. Then, with His Spirit, we can begin the process of forgiveness in our relationships here on Earth.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Genesis 50:20

Joseph is speaking forgiveness to his brothers who betrayed him. He is welcoming them, taking care of them, loving them because he made the choice to forgive. He was able to see how God used his circumstances to save a nation through His provision.

Where do you need to offer forgiveness in your life? Rely on the Holy Spirit to give you the power to claim forgiveness in your heart and in turn share that with others.

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Is Love Enough?

Recently, I was watching a show where one of the characters was discussing her unraveling marriage. She had come to the conclusion that sometimes love just isn’t enough.

Is it?

Is love enough?

I think to answer that question you have to know what love means.

In my younger years, love was that butterfly feeling you got when that cute boy noticed you in the hallway. It was receiving a note filled with promises and dreams from your boyfriend. It was the feeling of excitement, adventure, and the rush of emotion.

Is that what it means to you today? Because that’s not how I see love any more. Love to me is showing up each and every day, especially when you don’t feel like it. Love in marriage has been navigating life…like figuring out dinner in the midst of dirty diapers and cranky toddlers or how to carve out time for just each other. Love in marriage right now is sleepless nights with more bodies in our bed than when we first fell asleep…in my t-shirt and baggy pants. Love is living together in community, even when we might not want to that day.

In a nutshell…love is a CHOICE, not necessarily a feeling. Love is choosing someone despite the circumstances (unless those circumstances are dangerous/harmful). Love is never giving up. Love is seeing someone else through God’s eyes.

Can you find this kind of love in money? In fame? In power? In a promotion?

Often we try to find fulfillment in the love of things in this world. However, true love is modeled by Christ. True love is placing our hearts in His hands and watching Him transform our lives for His purpose. His love never fails. His love fulfills.

Is love enough? Only when it’s grounded in His love. May we share the agape love of Christ with others so that they may discover Him.

John 13:34-35

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Sherpa Pullovers and Dirty Underwear

Y’all…I just need to say thank you to all who are walking alongside me in my parenting journey. Your encouragement and prayer means so much!

Recently, my youngest daughter had her first field trip… in 40 degree weather. Clothes have become our nemesis (and the trigger to major meltdowns) so I knew that long sleeves and pants would have my blood pressure rising.

This time, I tried thinking outside of the box…have her sleep in the clothes she would wear the next day. Have the meltdown the night before to give her the time to get used to how the clothes feel, right? Then wake up already dressed and ready to go.

Don’t want to change your underwear? No problem. Keep wearing the same ones.

Supposed to wear tennis shoes but will only wear crocs? Crocs it is!

The morning came, and we were almost in the clear…but (always a but)…we couldn’t find a coat or sweater that wouldn’t send her over the edge. Want to know what my husband had brought home from Sams Club the night before? A sherpa pullover for her that matches mine! She LOVED it. And I honestly believe it was no coincidence. God knew what we both needed in this very moment.

God showed up in the form of a sherpa pullover and dirty underwear, and that particular morning was a good morning (which was just what this mama heart needed when it was already sad about missing a first field trip).

Hang in there, mamas. Sometimes all it takes is dirty underwear and something that reminds them of you!

Ashley

Psalm 118:24

”This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!”

Sticks and Stones

James 1:19-20

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

(Photo cred: Jon Phillips on Unsplash)

We’ve all heard the saying sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. But is this true? When I become angry and react without first processing, my words have the potential to break down rather than build up.

Have you endured words that have been so hurtful to you? Have you spoken angry words that cut to someone’s core in the heat of the moment?

I do think it’s true that actions speak louder than words, but make no mistake, words can be so powerful. We learn this from the following scripture in James (3:9-10):

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouths come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”

The tongue is a very small part of our body, and yet it carries with it great power. How am I using my words? Do I retaliate? Do I build others up?

God tells us out of the mouth overflows what’s in the heart. I know with certainty that my heart needs to be renewed daily. I struggle with my reactions and the words that follow most days. When my reality does not meet my expectations, there can be some ugliness that spills from my heart. My frustration often lands on the one I love most here on earth, my husband.

If I am honest, I can hear God calling me to submit, not only to Him, but also to my spouse. In times when life spins out of control (usually after I’ve exhausted all measures to maintain control), the Spirit Himself whispers (okay, screams), “just please let go.” No more words. Guard your heart….and your words. I’ve got this.

(Photo cred: Brett Jordan on Unsplash)

We need to use our tongues for worship, for encouragement, to build one another up. We are called to stop gossiping, stop nagging, and for goodness sake stop using words that cause pain to others.

James 4:7-8

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”

Submit so that your words can bring you closer to God but also closer to those around you. May our mouths be a reflection of the One who lives within us.

Sticks and stones

No more broken bones

Words that shout His praises

No more hurtful phrases

Ashley

Psalm 118:24

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Noticing the Unnoticed

Have you ever felt invisible? Been on the outside looking in? We’ve all been there, right? You may be that person right now. But dear friend, God sees YOU!

“She [Hagar] gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” ~Genesis 16:13

(Photo credit: rawpixel on Unsplash)

I count myself blessed to have so many encouraging, loving people who surround me. I recognize that there are people that God has brought into my life for only a season, and others that I hold on to for DEAR LIFE. These people are my family. And yet, even though I’ve been blessed by authentic and real relationships, there are periods of loneliness….for everyone, even me.

If I’m being honest, these periods can have my mind spinning out of control. Friend, this is exactly where satan wants us…smack in the middle of self-doubt and asking ourselves…does anyone see me?

So how can we change our focus from loneliness to one of gratitude? Yep, that’s right. There are blessings all around! I can no longer allow my fears to affect my interactions, my anxiety to distort His reality. If I am not rooted in Christ, then my identity is of this world. And you see, I must quit looking to everyone else for fulfillment and look up to Him to be reminded of all of His goodness.

(Photo credit: Aaron Burden on Unsplash)

Maybe, just maybe, God allows for us to feel the pain of loneliness so that He can draw us closer to Him. You see, we don’t NEED anyone or anything in this life when we experience the fullness of being in Him.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:19

So many people I know are struggling with loneliness and are crying out for help. If I’m speaking to you, and you get nothing else from this, get this: You. Are. Not. Alone. But rather than allow our insecurities to take the wheel down a darkened path, let’s make the choice to dive into scripture to be reminded of how we were beautifully made.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” ~ Psalm 139:14

(Photo credit: Hogues de BUYER-MIMEURE on Unsplash)

Your life is so very precious to Him. You see, friend, Christ died on the cross for YOU and for ME because we are all a broken people. Relationships will be put under trials, people may hurt you, and love can be challenging. But Christ came into the world to REDEEM us. We are alive IN Him!! Now if that’s not something to celebrate today then I don’t know what is!

We are called to share the Good News with others. God wants us to be in community with one another. How can we step outside of our comfort zone today to reach others who are struggling?

“And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’” ~ Romans 10:15

One act of kindness has the power to change a life. And I truly believe that one changed life changes the world. You see, we all long to belong. It’s in our very DNA.

So how will we be intentional to notice the unnoticed today? I’d love to hear your thoughts and join together to share kindness in this dark world. When our hearts are broken, and we are feeling alone, let’s change our focus to God’s goodness, His many promises. Together we can change the world, one interaction at a time. ❤️

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” ~Psalm 118:24

Dear Youngest Daughter

(Photo cred: Wesley Caribe on Unsplash)

Dear Youngest Daughter,

From the moment you entered this world, I knew our family was complete (despite your daddy’s pleas otherwise). I knew in my heart that forever my baby you would be.

I did pray to God that maybe…just maybe…you would be the first child to at least resemble me. I mean, I am the one doing all the work here. 🤣 I’m not sure that’s the case, but you certainly got the gift of my SUPER-sized personality.

Baby girl, this world can be a scary place, and yet you continually remind me of its goodness. Your light shines bright as you face each new day as an adventure. I pray that in life, you continue to let that light shine bright.

I want more than anything to protect you from what’s ahead. Life is beautiful but also has its share of disappointments, heartache, and trials. While I hope I’m there to hold your hand, whisper in your ear, and pick you back up, I understand there will come a time where I can’t be. However, God has given you a resilience, a determination, and an identity of self like I have never seen before. These will serve you well!

Your independence (some might say hard-headedness) has challenged me in how to best raise and guide you in these early developmental years. While I don’t want to break your spirit, I don’t want to break mine either! Your daddy and I love you too much not to set boundaries. And while you may be spending an awful lot of minutes in time out (and it breaks my heart), it’s because we care too much not to put you there.

I have no doubts you are going to change the world by the impact you will have on others. You are already doing just this! In just five short years, you understand how to bring more pure JOY to the table than any other soul I have known. So spread those wings, dear child. Dare to be different. Hold on tightly to His Truth.

May God walk through life with you, may His angel army surround you, and may your life be a vessel for His Light.

Shine bright, sweet girl. We are blessed to be along for the ride and will be your biggest cheerleaders. We love you more (to the moon and back and back again)

Love,

Mama

XOXOXOXO

❤️❤️❤️❤️

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” ~ Psalm 118:24

My Top 3 Mama Fails

Thinking I can do it all

I think I went into parenthood thinking I’ve got this. How hard can it be, right? I mean, those little babies just lie around and coo for months, so that totally gives me sufficient time to adjust and figure this mama thing out! Until they don’t. And it’s not even 1 hour in and I’m completely overwhelmed.

Now it’s almost 10 years in, with three kiddos, and I’m still overwhelmed! However, I am beginning to understand that I don’t need to be everything for my kids. Can we stop right there? We DO NOT have to be everything for our kids.

Having a village to care for my tribe is beyond a blessing. If you are part of our village, then I say a BIG thank you. ❤️ My kids know that there are so many people in their lives that love them. I no longer have to feel guilty for missing a game or not making a practice because there are others present to cheer them on. I’m not failing but am instilling in them that they are loved and important even when we are apart. I’m hoping they can carry this with them beyond their lives at home.

(Photo credit: James Besser on Unsplash)

I also need to give my husband a shout out for this one because he’s a better “wife” than I am! Because we aren’t always traditional in our household “roles,” we can appreciate that we are better together!

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” ~Philippians 4:13

Comparing myself to other mamas

Am I enough? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Like every day! I’m not sure why I put so much pressure on myself to be enough, but if I’m honest with myself, I think it’s because I had such a nourishing upbringing. I lived in a loving and supporting home that gave me the opportunity to be who I am today. I so desperately want this for my kids. You may be on the opposite end of the spectrum wondering if you are enough because you want so desperately to create an environment so different from your own childhood. I think we can all admit to wondering if we are enough.

(Photo credit: NordWood Themes on Unsplash)

The constant comparison to other mamas isn’t helping either. If you are struggling with comparison, maybe think about signing off of social media for awhile? It’s nowhere near real life. For instance, I may be posting picture attempt #54 after Little Bit stuck her tongue out, her brother hit her, and older sister cried her eyes out for getting her feelings hurt. But #54…that was the perfect shot (after editing of course) and after which they saw fierce mama bear come out. But that FaceBook post is all smiles and sunshine, right?

And y’all, with my first child I tried to keep up with snack time assignments. On my special Thanksgiving snack day I skillfully created a turkey pumpkin with healthy fruit kabob feathers. Man was it impressive. Now? I’m lucky with #3 if I get Cheez-Its to class on time. If you find joy in creating food masterpieces, keep it up! The kids love it. On the other hand, if it summons the beast in you, just throw some crackers in a bag and call it a day. Comparison is killing our souls.

And let me be real. We are NOT enough. Yes, you read that correctly. And we aren’t even close. We cannot provide our family with what they need because they need WAY more than you and I can give. They need Him. Only God can provide what your little (or big) kids need. So breathe a sigh of relief. The pressure is off…sort of. We still have to raise them to know Christ, to develop a relationship with Him. We will inevitably fail our kids, but He never will.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Worrying about what tomorrow brings

Is worry stealing your joy? My oldest is about to turn 10 in a few weeks, and this is hitting me at the core for some reason. She will have spent over half of her time at home with us. Time will continue to go quickly, and as everyone always says….don’t blink! Here comes that pressure again. Pressure to make every second count when some of those seconds are downright overwhelming. Some of those seconds I wish would pass by more quickly….but do I? Just because parenthood is tough doesn’t mean it’s not worth the ride, the smooth AND the bumpy. It is!

(Photo credit: Anh Nguyen on Unsplash)

But worrying will not change anything, nor will it help anyone (preaching to the choir). So what’s the antidote? Trust. Trust that God is in control. Trust that God has equipped you specifically for your family. Trust that He has put people in your life for your personal journey. Most of all? Trust that He loves you, has a plan for your life, and has gone before you to prepare that path. Now that’s comforting, right? So why don’t we start trusting this truth together?

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

The three failures of my life are not failures at all but rather FEARS. This year I hope to give my fears to God so that I can truly see life through His lenses. I pray my anxiety and resulting anger would have no power over me but that I start to realize I am enough IN Him, that I can support others without comparing, and that I will enjoy today and leave worry behind.

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” ~ Psalm 118:24

Til Death Do Us Part

Whew!!! This is a BIG one. Philip and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. I was laughing as I thought about how our marriage will soon be a teenager. A friend asked if that means it’s about to get real. I guess you could say it means our marriage can sometimes be hormonal….hmmmm, that explains alot. We are going through puberty!

Let’s face it, commitment can be hard, even in the best of circumstances. What about when the times get tough…when the finances are impossible to reconcile, or when two people lose their spark, or when communication is nonexistent? Let’s sit with this for awhile….

Many of us are being pulled in a million different directions, and when you throw kids into the mix it can seem like your only purpose is a full time Uber driver for kids. Want to throw nutrition into the mix??? Thank goodness for Chick-Fil-A. Can I get an Amen?

I mean, how can we make a commitment…until death do us part…when most of the time we have yet to discover our own identities, much less our identity in marriage? How can we know and ensure this unity will last forever? Better yet…how do we survive the marriage pre-teen years when many of us are juggling so much we barely even see our spouse?

I’m realizing that some of this is just the season we are in. Our kiddos NEED us, and I am certainly SO very blessed to be a mom of three precious gifts. Some of it is our overextended calendars. We need to be better at saying “no” so that we can say “YES” to our families. And then some of it is our FOCUS. How are we centering ourselves…daily? Do we have accountability in our lives? Where and how are we going to find balance in life?

……

Exodus 33:14

“The Lord replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’”

……

Thankfully, Philip and I are celebrating double digit years now. But let me assure you that this celebration does not mean that our relationship has not been tested, been through deep waters on some days and been a mess on others. You know that wise old saying, “Never go to bed angry?” Yeah, that’s not me. However, I can say that we eventually work through it (y’all try being married to an attorney!) and I think…no, I know…it’s because our relationship is rooted in Him. Our commitment is to Him first and foremost. Our earthly relationship is a choice we choose every. single. day. because we stood before God and promised just that. Every day we will choose each other. That doesn’t mean we will see the rainbows and feel the butterflies daily. That doesn’t mean the choice will be easy. But it does mean we will take ACTION and intentionally choose one another…til death do us part.

……

Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

……

So you’ve been divorced, or you have left an unhealthy relationship, or your best friend has walked right out of your life? Are you a failure? Absolutely not. God’s grace is sufficient for me…it’s sufficient for you, no matter your marital status or your friend status. You get to commit your life each and every day to Him. It’s a choice you make. In turn, He will help you truly commit your life to others…even when your heart, your mind, the world tells you to walk away. He will provide the lifeline you will need in the future to pull you from the pit of despair and find your way home.

When the world tempts with fruitless things, God promises HOPE, and GRACE, and complete JOY in Him. Let me emphasize that complete joy can only come from Him and not another person or circumstance. Don’t put the pressure of your joy on a spouse or friend, because you will be disappointed every single time. Please don’t be fooled into thinking that your key to fulfillment is just around the corner…if only this or that would happen. Want to know what true love looks like? Want to find peace and joy? Turn to scripture and learn from Jesus. You are loved. You are welcome. You are home in Christ.

……

John 15:9-11

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. “

~Psalm 118:24

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