Come To the Table Ministry

‘“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”’ ~ Jeremiah 29:11

(Photo credit: Ray Hennessy)

As we approach the New Year and ring in 2019, have you considered your resolutions?  Personally, I’m not much of a resolution gal. I have been blessed with great self control (sometimes to my detriment) so I become VERY frustrated with myself when I can’t follow through with said resolutions. 

How many of us have resolved to lose weight, become more financially stable, earn a promotion, invest in self care?  I think I am seeing a theme here. All revolve around SELF.  Now don’t get me wrong, we most certainly need to take care of ourselves. Our bodies are God’s living temples. But…there is a fine line to walk. When SELF becomes more important than SOUL then we have a problem. 

In our culture today, I am finding that many (myself included) are focused on this ME mentality, even amongst Christians. YOU can do ANYTHING you set your mind to if you work hard enough. True, right?  In my mind this mentality is false. You see, I can do NOTHING apart from God. My successes, my joys come solely from Him.  My fulfillment and my life’s work are a gift from Him. Can I be rich in things of this world apart from God?  Absolutely. But I know money, professional success, material things do not provide complete joy but only temporary happiness. They leave me continually unsatisfied and only wanting more. 

(Photo credit:  Steven VanDesande Jr)

Maybe you are so relieved to say goodbye to 2018, and maybe your hope is that 2019 will be as great as the last. Whatever state you enter this New Year, ponder where you will put your focus in 2019. 

As I think about this past year in my life, I remember the many blessings that I’m so thankful for from a healthy family to fun adventures. I also reflect on a huge disappointment in my life. My heart hurts as our family continues to discern the direction of our church and where we belong. We have struggled so desperately to understand where God wants us to be and how to faithfully serve Him. If I’m completely honest, this specific journey has been heart-wrenching, full of many tears. I have felt isolated, alone, and frustrated. And yet, God has been VERY present in the wrestling. I have been in scripture these past 5 months more than I’ve ever been. My relationship with God has grown through connections I never saw coming. Blessings are in the struggle. Healing is in the struggle. GOD is in the struggle. Oh how beautiful!!

You see, if I put my faith in other people or things of this world, then disappointment is right around the corner.  But if I put my faith in God, He will see me through the inevitable heartaches of this world and yet still provide for me in ways I could never imagine!  And while I know my heartache may seem trivial in comparison to other situations, this has been a very real and emotional heart check for myself. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

Are you going through your own heartache?  Unsure how you are going to get through it?  Please know you are not alone. Place your hope and faith in God. He alone can provide what you need. Allow Him in so that you can heal. Making God a priority will never leave you disappointed. 

My hope for all of us is this…..

Romans 12:12

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

(Photo credit:  Olivia Snow)

The three things we need in our lives not only in the New Year but each and every day:  hope, patience, faithfulness. 

May 2019 bring you hope abounding as you grow in relationship with Him through prayer, scripture, and Christian community. 

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

Jeremiah 6:16  “This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’”

(Photo Credit:  Robert Bye)

Ever found yourself at a crossroads?  I’m betting if you are honest with yourself, you’ll admit that you’ve been at a few in your lifetime. Some may have been smaller, like on a country road, and some may have been on a major intersection. I’m finding myself sitting at one this very moment…

At this crossroads, I find that I’m stuck in a whirlwind of emotions. I’m overwhelmed when I focus on the world zooming right by me. The cars are racing to and fro and not even noticing that I’m right here, unable to move. Does anyone truly SEE me?  Then there are the cars behind me honking incessantly because I just can’t muster enough strength to press the gas and go anywhere. Does anyone truly CARE that I can’t find my way?  Sometimes, it’s like an out of body experience where I’m watching the scene unfold, and I just want to shout to myself to let go of the brake….just MOVE. Why can’t I move?

You know why?  Because sometimes God calls us to wait. He wants me to sit for awhile at this crossroads and take the time to discern His path forward. He’s patiently waiting on me…not to move forward but to look UP to Him.

Luke 24:49  “I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”  Jesus is telling his disciples to STAY where they are and WAIT on the Holy Spirit to come on them. I believe that He is asking the same of me.  While I already have the Holy Spirit living within me, I need to wait on the Spirit to pave my pathway forward.

(Photo credit:  Oliver Cole)

Do you know what happens when I look up?  I take myself beyond the crossroads. I become unstuck but yet can be still. I don’t have to move forward just yet. In my current crossroads, God has taught me that waiting is part of His divine plan in my life. Patience is a gift I am struggling to receive…and let me tell you, the struggle is REAL. It is in the waiting I have better understood my journey to the crossroads. It is in the waiting I have wrestled with my faith. It is in the waiting I have dug deeper into my relationship with Him. 

Don’t get me wrong, the waiting period has left me devastated, lonely, anxious, sad. And yet God has used this time to draw me closer to Him. I’m know in my heart this burning desire for Him is because I have walked this journey leading to this exact crossroads. It is through my current journey that my trust in God has grown exponentially and for this I am SO grateful. And yet I still worry about what tomorrow brings. I struggle with wanting to just DO something to make it all better. And God continually reminds me to be still.  I’ve got this, Ashley. You are enough IN Me. In Me you will find complete rest for your soul.

(Photo Credit:  Alora Griffiths)

As I sit in my car at this crossroads, I’m going to challenge myself not to wait in self-pity but acknowledge all of the great things God is doing in my life. I’m going to look OUT to seek others who may be at their own crossroads. I’m going to invest in relationships with others. And most of all, I’m going to trust that God will give me the green light arrow to point me in the right direction on the road to life….in His timing. 

In Him,  

Ashley 

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

~John 3:16

The Best Gift For Any Season:  The Gift of Love

I am in a season of my life where I am intentionally asking myself these questions:

What is love?

What does love look like?

What does love mean?

As I’m going through this discernment process, I am now able to recognize this seeking and stirring of my heart comes from the Holy Spirit, God Himself. We are very much inundated with the world and all of its influences:  social media, TV shows, movies, books, all of which feed us the world’s definition of love. All of these sources send us a message about what love needs to look like, how we attain it, and how it can heighten our sense of failure when we don’t have “it.”

But are these representations of love what we should strive for?  Maybe if it’s a Hallmark Christmas movie…hehehehe.  

Why am I defining love within the context of a broken world when the state of our culture has left me feeling empty, discouraged, and even hopeless at times?  Over the past 4 months, God has challenged me to truly consider LOVE. Easy concept, right?  Right?  In my reality, there has been nothing easy about this period of reflection.  

In my heart, the agape love of Christ is very different from our human definition. The closest thing my mind can process regarding agape love is from a parental perspective. Every night at bedtime after prayers, my husband and/or I recite this to our kids:

There is nowhere you can go, nothing you can do, nothing you can ever say that would stop mommy and daddy from loving you. Do you know that?

God’s love is unconditional for His children. Do YOU know that?  He is offering us the most precious gift we could ever receive, BUT we do have to receive and open this gift. The Christmas season is a time of remembrance and celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, a gift that came to the world to redeem His people back to Him. It is a gift that ended on a cross to cleanse us from our sins. It is a gift that was raised from the dead and promises eternal life in heaven with Him. 

A recent sermon by a dear friend, Rev Mark Gooden from First Centenary in Chattanoga, highlights that so often we overlook this gift, push it aside, and leave it to go unnoticed. I personally opened this gift many years ago, but what am I now doing with it?  God has called me and all of us to share His love with the world!

Let us remember that His love is perfect and yet requires us to deny ourselves and our own ideas and agenda and demands we lay control over our lives at His feet. It’s not always an emotion but is a command of obedience to accept His love and then go out and share it with others. 

Love from Christ is not of this world and never changes with culture. It’s what will completely fulfill our desires. It is not always easy. Jesus makes the point in Luke 24:25-33 that no other relationship compares in importance to our relationship with Christ. Is Christ first in my life?  Or am I seeking love from the acceptance of others?

There are so many divisive issues in today’s society. Can I fully love others while not compromising the Truth?  Absolutely. Love to me doesn’t mean acceptance but rather showing up, having a relationship, and holding each other accountable to Him. I am called to be the light and not hide it. The Truth is constant and never changing. It is non-negotiable. May the Holy Spirit continue to guide me in how to love in Truth so that I am molded by scripture and not by the world. 

Lord,

Please help me focus on Your Gift this Christmas season. Help me not to be overwhelmed by the ways of the world but rather love others faithfully while living in Your Truth. 

In Your Name I pray,

Amen

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!  And it truly is for me. I LOVE the holiday season. I look forward to the celebrations, the time with family, and all the feels of love and giving this time of year brings. But if I’m being completely honest and keeping it real, this season also fosters anxiety and unwanted pressure in my life. Am I providing adequate childhood memories for my children?  How can I continue our busy schedule AND fit in all the holiday events as well?  Are we doing too much?  Do our children “get” the reason for the season?  Am I a failure as a parent if we don’t have outdoor Christmas lights (that was one of my great Christmas memories with my dad)?  Whew!  I’m exhausted!  Are you?  And it’s just the beginning of December. 

Stop. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. In. And out. (No, seriously. Back up and actually breath!) How can a season I love leave me on such an emotional roller coaster?  It’s because my focus is blurred. I need to put on God’s holy lenses. I need to verify from where my lens prescription is coming. Is it from the world or from The Physician himself? Looking through the world’s lenses will keep us in a state of exhaustion, worry, and comparison. Our view of life can become blurred, muddled, and can leave us stumbling.  Lord, give me Your sight, the prescription lenses to see my situation and struggles and others from Your viewpoint.  Show me your path of comfort, peace, and contentment. 

Home is where the heart is, right?  So where is my heart?  Is my heart focused on the “stuff” this holiday season brings, or is my heart focused on the Christ in Christmas?  So often I find myself looking to FaceBook for validation, comparing my family affairs to that of others. My goodness, those cute Christmas tree cutting pictures are priceless!  What special memories and ones I will cherish from my own childhood!  But that has not been our family reality for the past several years.  And that’s ok. We have been blessed with an artificial tree at the center of many Christmas memories. We love collecting ornaments, and oh how I love re-living all the memories from years past when we set up this tree.  Again, if I allow myself to play the comparison game, it steals me from the life moments right in front of me. 

For me, I need a reminder that Christmas is not defined by what tree I have in my home, the number of gifts under my tree, or even how many family holiday events I can squeeze onto my calendar.  Christmas is a celebration of Jesus’ holy birth. It is the time when God himself came to earth to redeem His people, you and me. That’s it. That’s all we need. But are the other traditions surrounding Christmas tons of fun and even magical?  Sure!  And our family loves this season of giving, of sharing love with others, and the time we have with each other. 

So if you are in need of refueling as we head full swing into December, I invite you to find strength in Him. The same strength God used to raise Jesus from the dead is the very same strength that now resides in His believers through the Holy Spirit. Breath in His Spirit and breathe out His goodness. 

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 “…and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at the right hand in the heavenly realms..”

~Ephesians 1:19-20

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 In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

~Exodus 14:14

……

The Lord will fight for ME…little ‘ole me. And He will fight for YOU!  It’s right there…in the Old Testament. Years ago, I would have thought that the Old Testament couldn’t possibly have anything in it relevant to my life. I’m quickly learning the opposite is true. God’s Word is timeless. His Truth in Exodus has lots of life applications for us today. You know that whole wondering in the wilderness thing?  Yep, I can totally relate. You know the grumbling part (over and over again) by the Israelites?  Yep, this struggle is real for me, too. We live in a world of instant gratification and a sense of always wanting and needing more.  Lord, help us to be different. 

What comes to mind when you read about the Lord fighting for you?  The first thing I visualize is a battle from the Old Testament.  God and His army of angels are suited in armor and ready for war…war to protect me. Now that’s a powerful image. I am worth everything to Him. He loves me SO much that He is calling His troops in to protect me from evil.  Other times I feel the battle is quiet, a silent battle of sorts, where God is working behind the scenes to fight for me. This to me is an even more powerful image. And He is doing the same for YOU, too. Now that’s something to be thankful for!!  

Our battles, yours and mine, are most likely very different, but God is present at each and every one of them. Naming your own personal battles is the first step to healing. What giants are you facing?  What battle is ongoing in your life?  Anxiety is continually present on my battlefield, but it no longer has a continual grip on my life. Does it try to suffocate me and literally consume me???  All the time, but it no longer DEFINES me. For I know (even though my brain forgets) that this battle has already been won. Thank you, Lord, that heaven doesn’t know anxiety. It will be no more. What struggle are you facing that you need to hand over to God and allow Him to take over?

Now what about the second part of this verse?  In order for God’s fighting to be effective, I need to be STILL!!!  Ummm, I don’t know about you, but this one is hard. Really, really hard. For those who know me, I typically am going nonstop. But what others may not see, is that there are days when I do rest.  This means I get my kids off to school and hunker in for a Hulu-watching marathon. I don’t face the laundry, I don’t face responsibilities, and I certainly don’t react well if my husband works from home on these days. I mean, who wants to feel guilty during their “me” time?

But can I let you in on a little secret?  These days are often when my anxiety creeps up on me. I am alone with my thoughts. I don’t have “things” to do or work to perform to keep me distracted. I am filling this time with just that…me…and not necessarily God. Where is my “God” time?  I’m learning more and more that being still not only means just unplugging from the world. No, it also means we must plug in to HIM. As I write these words this is really resonating with me. I NEED to truly know this. Being still doesn’t mean we are to only unplug from the world, but rather we are to step away from the world AND step into Him. Hulu does not qualify as being spiritually still. I am finding that being still in God’s eyes means devoting time in relationship with Him. He is calling us to be still IN Him through scripture, prayer, and meditation. How can we know Him if we don’t have a relationship with Him?  Knowing about him is not enough. 

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“Be still and know that I am God.”

~Psalm 46:10

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So this Thanksgiving holiday, I want to encourage you to be still in Him and enjoy time with loved ones. I don’t know about you, but these commercials with “Black Friday” deals starting ON Thanksgiving Day make me sad. Not because shopping for great deals can’t be a fun family tradition, but because it is encroaching on a day created for time to unplug from the world, just be together, and be thankful to God for all of His many blessings, no matter our circumstances.  

For those who are spending time with family and friends, for those who are experiencing pain knowing there will be an empty chair at the table, for those who are lost and lonely, you are always welcome at this table. Thank you for coming to the Table and experiencing life with Him in community. We are blessed by His promises, and today I am thankful He continues to fight for us all. 

In Him,

Ashley 

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

Ever been on the outside looking in?  Are you going through a rough patch and your situation seems magnified by the interactions around you?  Feeling lonely but surrounded by tons of people?

We all want to be included. We all want to be a part of a group that welcomes us even with all of our crazy. Actually, we want this group that EMBRACES the cray-cray. Thanks to social media, we are more connected than ever….right?  Maybe in some ways. But I find these connections are mostly superficial. On the flip side, we are also exposed to events and situations where we find we have not been included. Anyone else find themselves asking these questions….Why wasn’t I invited?  Have I don’t something wrong?  What are they saying about me?

Wait. Let’s hit the pause button for a second before we get this pity party going full force. What if there is some truth to our fears?  Okay. Not feeling any better. (Hang with me). But what if I am projecting my perception of the situation onto others?

Here’s what I mean. Maybe, just maybe, your friend is distracted by the weight of their world and didn’t mean to ignore you.  Or maybe a group of people was deep in conversation, but it had nothing to do with you. Maybe my insecurities are feeding my fears when the reality is far different. I know I live distracted most of the time so I know I’ve unintentionally missed opportunities to connect with others. 

We don’t know what’s going on in another’s world…what’s hiding behind that pretend smile or the cracks that are about to break wide open at any given time. I know that at times I’m really good about putting on my game face and hiding my true feelings in public and honestly with those I most trust. (Guess I’m doing the opposite right now.). But you know what I’m discovering through the writing process?  It feels so good to let the real me out into the world. The me that is hurt when I’m not included, the me that is confused, the me that is exhausted. How about this one?  The me that can’t seem to shake my worry about what others think of me. 

……

Galatians 6:2

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

……

So what if our fears ARE the reality?  Then I say it’s not our worry. Why am I focusing on all the ways I’m not being included instead of in all the areas I am?  Sometimes people come into your life for only a season….and that’s okay. We don’t have to be bestest friends with everyone (although my 4 year old might disagree). But we DO need to be respectful of one another. We are ALL in this thing called life together.

So I ask myself this question:  am I doing this very same thing to others? Maybe not intentionally, but I know it must happen. I know there have been times my actions have brought others hurt. I know because I’m human. I know because I’m so stuck in my own little pity party with my eyes turned inward that I can’t see the person right in front of me feeling the same way, needing a quick hello. How about eye contact and a smile?

So today my challenge is to look outward, beyond my core tribe. Reach out to someone who crosses your path and take just one minute to enter THEIR world. Text an old friend you have lost contact with and let them know you are thinking about them. Better yet, snail mail it!  I LOVE getting unexpected notes. We have so much love to share, and it doesn’t take much to make a difference in someone else’s life! 

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Mathew 18:20

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

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How about we Come 2 the Table and be the difference today….one day at a time. Comment below when you’ve done your point of contact and let’s watch how our little group can make a difference. 

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

~ Psalm 118:24

Today we are broken, hurt, angry, tired, over-scheduled, sick, lonely…but as Christians, we are also forgiven, redeemed, born again, loved, full of grace and hope. But do we truly recognize our uttermost need to be in relationship with Him?  And I’m not just talking about a once-a-day-prayer-to-God or a once-a-week-Sunday-morning kind of relationship. I’m talking about the bare-your-soul and be-totally-honest type of relationship. 

One of my dearest friends and spiritual mentors, Michelle, raised this question to our Girlfriends small group:  Are we just checking off boxes on our spiritual lists to make ourselves feel better?  For instance:  Yes, I prayed today. Check. Yes, I went to church this week. Check. Yes, I donated to a local charity. Check. Check. Check. Or are we seeking a raw and authentic relationship with God?  Are we giving ourselves freely to Him or are we freely giving Him our leftovers?  My prayer is that we can be fervent in our time spent with God, that our prayers would not be hollow and trite but rather intentional and purposeful. (If you have not read “Fervent” by Pricilla Shirer then add it to your very short reading list!)  I am reminded that our time in His Presence should be one full of passion and purpose, and with a renewed spirit. By focusing on Him, we remember who we are…that our identity is not found in this world or by how much we accumulate here on Earth. Our true identity comes from our confidence in the Truth and our understanding that we cannot be fully alive apart from Him. 

We need to start with diligently praying for our families and our core people because you can better bet that satan is actively trying to drive wedges in these important relationships. Pricilla Shirer points out that we must stop fighting with one another because that is right where satan wants us to be. Rather, we need to start assuming a new fighting position…and no, this new position is NOT behind a screen on social media.  Our fighting position needs to be on our knees…in prayer…praying for one another and in turn fighting against the evil forces of satan. 

Dear God,

Sometimes I just want to cry out…where are You???  And then I hear You tell me that You’ve been here all along. You open Your arms and welcome me back. Lord, thank you that in the midst of so much devastation and pain, You are here. Thank you that the victory has already been won. Help us to focus on You so that we may do Your will in our lives. 

In Your Name,

Amen

So today, I challenge you to throw the list in the air (Heart palpitations, I know!) and just be in His Presence…whether through scripture, worship in song, and/or prayer. 

In Him,

Ashley 

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

Ashley…Mommy….Mrs. Baker….Dr. Baker…ma’am (sometimes hey you!). So what truly is in a name?  It’s an identifier of sorts, right?  It’s not always unique when you have a common name like Ashley Baker, but it does help identify yourself to the outside world. But what about the inside?  Does Ashley communicate anything to you about who I am as a human being….my personality, my desires, my fears?  

My name may not resonate with you because you have no idea who I am (if you stumbled upon this blog without knowing who I am, thank you for joining us!). Or you may be one of the few who reads this very new blog (hey, Mom!) and by my name know way too much about me!

Yes, in my opinion, names matter. They are important. And as you develop a relationship with someone, their name often times has a visual image or an emotion attached to it. These attachments may be positive….or they may be negative. Teachers know exactly what I’m talking about. Just have a conversation with an expectant teacher about their baby name selection process. It’s virtually impossible. Johnny? No, had one in my class. Michael?  Nope, can’t do that either. It goes on. And on. And on….And some have had names that were passed on to them because of a long lineage of tradition. 

But let’s take this a step further. My name is VERY important to me because it is my legacy. It now represents who I am, what I believe in, and the life I have lived. It’s a name for ME. I want my life to mean something to those in which I have the privilege of connecting with during my lifetime.  

But do you know what saddens me?  What breaks my heart?  It’s when we start using names and throwing around labels for people that are so very hurtful. Why?? For what purpose?  These derogatory names and words (often times written on a screen) are meant to cause harm or to prove a point or put someone in their place. Can we just pause for a moment?

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Has anyone convinced another person through FB to change their view of an issue or person by posting negativity all over their newsfeed?  Can we all just STOP!!!  I mean, for the love of all sanity can we just stop?  And I don’t care what other people are doing or saying. We can’t control other people. But if you are reading this right now, can we hold one another accountable to not spew hate or ugly words in anyone’s direction?  It. Is. Not. Ok. We must re-learn what respect looks like and let me tell you I’m going to need to be intentional about this in my own life. I know, it’s hard not to retaliate, fight back, get that last word in. But name calling and disrespectful behavior are NOT the answer. 

On the other hand, names can be such profound blessings. Do you want to know my greatest name?  My best title?  My most cherished label?  It’s “Child of God.”  

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Isaiah 43:1

“But now, this is what the Lord says—

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’”

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So what truly is in a name?  I think a lot more than we care to acknowledge. Let’s use names to define others, and internally for ourselves, that are precious in His sight. We were all created in His image. He calls us by name. His Name is above all names. Let’s turn our eyes upon Jesus and reflect His glory in the words in which we choose to label others: 

mama, father, friend, helper, healer, provider, person who thinks differently than me, supporter, CHILD OF GOD!

In Him,

Ashley 

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24