Awe & Wonder

Are you infatuated with famous people? Are you that fan girl or guy that does outlandish things to get as close you can to the superstar? Do you collect memorabilia or autographs?

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I will admit that I get a little excited by star sightings or being in the presence of superstar greatness…not that I’ve had many opportunities in my lifetime. Because my third child has literally cost me my memory, I had to consult with my husband on such encounters. He asked me if I meant current/past famous people, or future famous people…because I’ve certainly met him (funny)!

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Here is my list…guy from West Wing, Truett Cathy, Corey Smith, RC Slocum (beloved Aggie Coach), Philip Fulmer, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel (almost). Certainly not an extensive list.

So where am I going with this? I started thinking about fame and greatness when watching The Voice (love this show!). The contestants have made it past The Blinds and are now working with legendary coaches in The Battles. As they walk in the studio room to work with their coaches, they are all in awe and wonder. They are so very grateful and appreciative to be in the presence of musical icons. This is what they’ve dreamed of…what they’ve worked SO hard for. All the sacrifices, all the time and money, their validation that their choices were all worth it are culminating together in this defining moment…this break-through opportunity on The Voice.

Sounds like pressure, right? SO. MUCH. PRESSURE. All of these people want to find their identity, to learn from these mentors who have made it, to impress their coaches, and to solidify their future for legendary greatness! You can be ANYTHING you want to be as long as you want it enough and put in the hard work! Can I get a high five?

NOT. SO. FAST. Let’s talk this through. First of all, why don’t I get so excited like this when I come into God’s Presence? Why can I not fully understand His Greatness, the opportunity to learn from Him, to ensure my future in Him, to find my identity in Him? No matter what great victory we achieve here on earth, no matter our status and no matter our prestige, we will never experience true fulfillment and joy without Him. Things of this world (even multi-platinum records) cannot fulfill our soul’s desires…but He can AND WILL! Money will not. Fame will not. And another person will not.

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Jesus tells us in John 15:10-11, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
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Complete joy, perfect joy, cannot come from anything other than God. No matter what I am currently chasing that I believe will make my life “right” or “complete” or “fulfilled,” it will not give me the holy joy I so desperately crave.

Second of all, we are uniquely and purposefully created with individual gifts from God. So CAN we be anything we want to be? I’ll leave this for another day…

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Best Decision: What’s yours?

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My husband, Philip, and I could not be more different in so many areas, but I know that’s why God brought us together…that, and I happened to pray for patience. 🤣

But I want to share the one thing that he tells me day in and day out. YOU are the BEST decision I have ever made. Just wow. To hear that from someone who knows your ugly, the deepest parts of your soul and still claims this…it’s humbling. Even after my worst of moments, he will turn to me and tell me that I am STILL the best decision he has ever made. 

Now, I know what many may be thinking. That’s great for you, but I’m not in a committed, supportive relationship right now. I don’t have a spouse, friend, or anyone in my life who loves me unconditionally and walks alongside me in this journey called life. 

I’m going to challenge you that yes, yes you do!  His name is Jesus Christ. And He gave us the most precious gift of all by sacrificing His life for mine, for yours, for ALL!!!  I recently came across this scripture that I want to share because the more it soaks in, the more overwhelming it becomes. 

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Romans 8:11

And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

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Let’s sit with this a moment. The SAME Spirit that resurrected Christ is the SAME Spirit that lives in me, and in you, as long as we accept His gift. So, yes, you DO have someone that supports you, protects you, loves you unconditionally. You can feel secure in His promises knowing that you are NEVER alone. 

I want to caution you because His Word reminds us that this kind of true fulfillment cannot come from earthly relationships or earthly things (note to self: no, Hulu is not a true source of fulfillment). Do you know how much pressure it is to be responsible for someone else’s joy and fulfillment?  Are you looking for your identity in your friend tribes, status, wealth, employment?  Are you thinking…once I get that promotion THEN I will be happy..or if only I can find that perfect spouse THEN I will be at peace…or how about, if only I can get this group to include me then I will finally have made it!  At different points in our lives, we all face these struggles…and they are REAL!!!  Satan will continue to try and turn our focus back to these worldly things. Don’t let him. 

Turn to the One who CAN make you whole. Spend time in relationship with Him. Bring your fears, worries, and problems to Him. He can handle your brokenness. 

And the best part?  God chooses YOU, He wants YOU, He loves YOU!!

In Him,

Ashley

“This is the day the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

~Psalm 118:24

Hole in My Soul: Lord Make Me Whole

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1 Thessalonians 5:23

“May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together – spirit, soul, and body – and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. “

As I walked along the beach a couple of days ago, I kept my eyes peeled for cool shells. It’s like an egg hunt for me, a scavenger hunt of sorts. I love the thrill of finding the perfect shell, a starfish, a new sea creature. Not too long into the walk, I found something that caught my eye, and I knew this shell just might be the find of the day. I bent down and scooped it up only to find that it was *almost* perfect. What a bummer. Aside from a hole in the shell, this one was just about perfect. Just as I was about to toss it into the ocean, something held me back from doing so.

You see, this shell reminded me of…me. So desperately wanting to be perfect, to feel whole, and yet undeniably having a hole in my soul. You see, this hole, my hole, has formed from anxiety, an anxiety that has been crippling in the past but fortunately no longer defines me. It however, sneaks up on me and allows anger, resentment, defensiveness to seep out of my hole.

We all want to feel complete, whole, accepted, loved as we are and for who we are. We deserve this, we earn this, we sacrifice for this…right? No…wrong. This is what the world wants us to think, but God so desperately wants us to tune out the world and turn to Him.

Have I worked really, really hard to hide my hole, cover my hole, fill in the hole in my soul? You bet ya. The struggle is STILL real. So often I rely on my own strength and determination to be better, do better, show others I AM worthy. So why am I left feeling unfulfilled, feeling like a failure, exhausted?

It’s because I’ve looked to the things of this world to fill my hole…success in my work, as a parent, in my marriage. These things can never fulfill me as God reminds me He is the ONLY way to completion. His grace and truth are what make me new and WHOLE again. Not by what I can do but only through my repentance and belief in HIM!!! His sacrifice on the cross is what turns my life into a perfect shell. Will the hole re-appear? I’m guessing daily. And yet, I will pray, spend time in the Word, and rely on Him to sustain me and DAILY fill the hole in my soul.

Towards the end of my walk, I scooped up a shell that in fact was the perfect shell, shiny and smooth. Not a hole or crack to be found. This shell reminds me of the promise that Christ will return, and when He does, I will be made perfectly whole in Him!

Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to Your Table. Thank you for preparing a place for me just as I am but loving me enough not to leave me as I am. Thank you for filling my hole so that I am wholly made perfect in YOU.

❤️ AMEN

To Blog or Not to Blog?? That is the question.

This is a test of sorts because I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I mean none. Can I just admit that I tried to set this up today and managed to mess up the account before I even started?

Are you here to find a professional, put-together blog?  If so, RUN…and fast!  This is not the blog for you.  Are you here for authenticity?  Truth?  Accountability?  Community?  Then take a seat at the table…His table.  We will walk this journey called life together and in Him.

My life verse: Psalm 118:24

“This is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!”

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