Hole in My Soul: Lord Make Me Whole

1 Thessalonians 5:23

“May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together – spirit, soul, and body – and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. “

As I walked along the beach a couple of days ago, I kept my eyes peeled for cool shells. It’s like an egg hunt for me, a scavenger hunt of sorts. I love the thrill of finding the perfect shell, a starfish, a new sea creature. Not too long into the walk, I found something that caught my eye, and I knew this shell just might be the find of the day. I bent down and scooped it up only to find that it was *almost* perfect. What a bummer. Aside from a hole in the shell, this one was just about perfect. Just as I was about to toss it into the ocean, something held me back from doing so.

You see, this shell reminded me of…me. So desperately wanting to be perfect, to feel whole, and yet undeniably having a hole in my soul. You see, this hole, my hole, has formed from anxiety, an anxiety that has been crippling in the past but fortunately no longer defines me. It however, sneaks up on me and allows anger, resentment, defensiveness to seep out of my hole.

We all want to feel complete, whole, accepted, loved as we are and for who we are. We deserve this, we earn this, we sacrifice for this…right? No…wrong. This is what the world wants us to think, but God so desperately wants us to tune out the world and turn to Him.

Have I worked really, really hard to hide my hole, cover my hole, fill in the hole in my soul? You bet ya. The struggle is STILL real. So often I rely on my own strength and determination to be better, do better, show others I AM worthy. So why am I left feeling unfulfilled, feeling like a failure, exhausted?

It’s because I’ve looked to the things of this world to fill my hole…success in my work, as a parent, in my marriage. These things can never fulfill me as God reminds me He is the ONLY way to completion. His grace and truth are what make me new and WHOLE again. Not by what I can do but only through my repentance and belief in HIM!!! His sacrifice on the cross is what turns my life into a perfect shell. Will the hole re-appear? I’m guessing daily. And yet, I will pray, spend time in the Word, and rely on Him to sustain me and DAILY fill the hole in my soul.

Towards the end of my walk, I scooped up a shell that in fact was the perfect shell, shiny and smooth. Not a hole or crack to be found. This shell reminds me of the promise that Christ will return, and when He does, I will be made perfectly whole in Him!

Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to Your Table. Thank you for preparing a place for me just as I am but loving me enough not to leave me as I am. Thank you for filling my hole so that I am wholly made perfect in YOU.

❤️ AMEN